Category Archives: undefinable

hormonal recklessness.

I am undoubtedly hormonal this week.

My mood kind of alternates between depression, sheer exhaustion, massive headaches and crazy highs.

But one thing remains constant. I am feeling highly reckless. Bungee jumping sky diving ski jumping reckless.

All this will pass when my monthly friend comes to call and my hormones finally settle down, but until then, WHO’S WITH ME?

I need a run.

On another note, I bought my stationery organiser! Yay. Finally made a trip down to Daiso. I hate it when my stationery is in a mess. The desk should be in a mess, but never the stationery. Nod.

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Filed under grey & emo, random rants, undefinable

japan, japan.

I will always remember Tokyo rain, source of my hope and heartbreak.

Yours, evermore, ever to return.

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time place manner.

Perfect, happy endings are excusable only in children’s books. Because children deserve the few years of function and indeed a dream of function before they’re introduced to an eternity of dysfunction.

Been watching Glee obsessively. Like an escape. From what, I don’t know.

Don’t you know that nothing good ever comes out of falling first?

No air, no air.

Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears.

Sing for oblivion.

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NEWness.

A lot has happened in my 3 week hiatus. I went to France, came back from France, and have not blogged about France. You will hear about France soon. Probably after mini-hellweeks 1, 2 and 3 are over.

The furniture for my living and bedroom arrived a day after I got back from France, and there was total pandemonium as we attempted to dismantle our old cabinet, arrange the new sofa, coffee table, TV console and other nitty gritties into some semblance of order. Why the hurry? We had a family gathering the next day. Which also meant marinating chicken, fishing leaves out of the gravel, giving my bonsai tree a haircut and pruning the unruly bamboo. Said bamboo looked worse than me on a bad hair day. We also went to Katong Flower Shop to buy 2 new plants. I have yet to name the big one. Heehee.

Anyway, today is the FIRST day of the NEW semester, the SECOND LAST semester of law school. I cannot help feeling melancholy. I don’t really want this to end. Law school was a dream I thought I’d never achieve, and even though there were major nightmares involved, I don’t want to give it up yet. :( At least there’s still one last year to savour (and bitch about).

I think I must have been insane to opt for double intensives and 9.30pm days Mon to Fri. What was I thinking?! I’m already quite exhausted from my first day. I cannot imagine, and do not want to imagine, how many facials I will need at the end of these 3 mini-hellweeks. I say mini because I can probably choose to ignore the readings and smoke in class if I want to. But I do not want to do that! Rachel is going to be a hardworking girl this semester! She is however going to swim with Jolin on Thursday. WOOHOO. I cannot wait.

Randomly, I cannot understand why WordPress insists on changing its layout every 3 months. I blog about 6 times, and hey presto there’s a newfangled new interface to squint at! Change for the sake of change is really not necessarily a good thing. ;p

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Filed under cyber woes, undefinable

still present here.

In mourning the departed, we celebrate what they gave to the living.

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Filed under family, life, undefinable

paradox.

Eight.
It was raining, but only in the backyard. The sun shone brightly down on the front lawn. Birds twittered merrily in the bushes, singing songs of serene delight.The house was empty, save for him. It had four walls, but no roof. He paced between the thunderstorm and the sunkissed lawn, fists clenched and jaw set. His shirt was damply translucent, his hair slicked down by the rain. Dry one moment, drenched the next, he continued his relentless march. 

Nine.
She observed the pacing man with interest. It was the first time she’d see him show any sort of emotion. Suddenly, the man stopped in the front lawn and looked her squarely in the eye. She gasped, but held his unwavering gaze. Slowly, deliberately, he stepped backwards to into the house. He stopped dead centre, where the sun and the storm met; his face turned up to meet the sun, his back soaked with rain.

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Filed under musings, twists and turns of fate, undefinable

seven.

It’s when she’s all alone, when she hugs her knees to her chest, and her head sinks in defeat, that she’s honest with herself. 
It’s only when the confused welter of thoughts swirl around inside her exhausted mind that she’s unable to explain away the obvious.
It’s only then that she hears her heart speak.

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Filed under musings, twists and turns of fate, undefinable