Monthly Archives: December 2013

retrospectively speaking.

In the many years that have passed since I actively blogged here, I realise that I have changed a lot, and perhaps in some ways, not for the better.

I can now answer the question I posited my future self on 5 Jul 2010. Are we still defying gravity? No. We’re not. I’m not. We – or I – am trying to make peace with gravity now. Our gravity-defying days were over the moment we donned our office gear and signed our lives away with the flick of a pen.

Gravity however, is a false sense of rootedness; it keeps you anchored to the things of this world whilst forsaking that which the human spirit requires. It feeds the body, not the soul. Whereas the defiance of gravity brought about introspection and belief, gravity brought about a forgetfulness the moment my feet touched the ground. Now that I’m clutching on – temporarily – to balloons, I begin to remember what it was to defy gravity. That I was a better person then, with purer motives, deeper thoughts and a clearer sense of self. Back in the confines of gravity, I was lost; a machine that saw things in terms of efficiency and utility rather than humanity. But that person who defied gravity would always only look at Earth from a distance. What good then, was pure motive, deep thought, or clear sense of self? It had no practical application in space. Application could only be achieved under the control of gravity. By coming to terms with gravity and making peace with it. By being subject to it but not in its thrall.

I lost the first battle, and as such am clutching on to balloons for reprieve.

I will negotiate the second battle instead, wherever and whenever it may be, with a balloon firmly tied to one hand.

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