Dear My Body,


1. This letter serves as formal notice to you that you are in default of your obligation to lose weight.

2. You have failed to do so despite our client’s diligent restriction of her calorie intake to <1400 per day.

3. Our client is willing to compromise. She has restricted her calorie intake today to <1000 calories. Unless some form of weight loss is observed within one (1) day of the date of this letter, we will have no alternative but to exercise whatever rights and remedies we have under the law to enforce such loss, including but not limited to institution of legal proceedings against you to lose the above amount, together with accrued interest and legal expenses.


Yours sincerely,
A Very Disgruntled Me


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