a guide to useful depression.

When life starts to fall apart at the seams, take advantage of it.

Depression means less appetite and hence less calorie intake. Capitalise! Start exercising. Losing weight inevitably makes everyone happy. Happy endorphins obtained from aforementioned physical activity might actually snap you out of depression too. If you’re the emo nemo kind that huddles up and composes songs / writes tragic love stories / melancholy poems, hop to it! Squeeze every last possible creative benefit you can from your misery!

After all, when misery comes knocking at your door, you may not always have company. So let it all out. No, I don’t mean cry! What’s the point of crying? All it does is give you a nose to challenge Rudolph’s, eyes to match and a terrible headache. No, that simply will not do. Misery can and must still look fabulous. Not to mention it’s a complete waste of time.

So ladies and gents, you know what to do the next time you feel depressed! Smile! Be creative! Be thin! Never let them see you falter. Remember, HAPPINESS IS OVERRATED!

-wide TV host-esque smile-