I realise I haven’t made a New Year post yet.
It hasn’t really hit me that we’re in 2008 already, actually. Hahaha. The new year always seems to start when school does.
What do I want this new year?
That’s a tough one. I have a whole wishlist, but they seem to be empty wishes somehow. Things that may or may not turn out fine. I’ve been reading Donald Trump’s Kick Ass and Think Big though.
And in a warped way, I think I learnt a lot from the abysmal results this sem.
Not just the fact that I’m studying the wrong way or whatever. It forced me to think about what I want in life, how I think, and who I am. Maybe I blew the bad results thing all out of proportion, but those are the lessons I got out of it. Hey, if you have a lousy experience, you might as well get something out of it right? Things happen for a reason, you reap what you sow, and there will be lessons in the reaping to learn. Unless you’re the Grim Reaper. Sorry random.
I guess I never really knew what I wanted, with emphasis on I. I mean, if you’re a smart kid, your life plan is pretty much mapped out. You get streamed into EM1 (I was EM2 though.), then into a good secondary school, and then into a good JC, and then the top students are herded into med law and dentistry.
Did I even consider a career aside from these three? Yes. I had to. My JC results were awful; the only As I ever got were those at the A Levels. Which I studied my butt off for, but in all honesty the results were largely due to the grace of God.
So I didn’t need to think, again. I joined the herd into law. Stampede. Lol. I was considering teaching, blahblah. But it never once crossed my mind that I could then do something I had a passion for. In fact, looking back, I think I so busy psycho-ing myself to like law and my contingency careers that I never thought about whether I would or would not enjoy the job. Or maybe I thought that I would find happiness no matter what I did. (Well at least now that childish delusion has vaporised.)
I know now that I don’t regret choosing to read law. I came to that conclusion after a lot of lengthy thinking. I was wondering over the hols, though, if I would have been happier doing something else. Law is most certainly not my passion, even though I find certain topics pretty interesting. I always thought I knew what my passion in life is but could never go for it because of personal constraints.
But now, I think, to hell with personal constraints.
I’m going to do what I enjoy doing. I’m going to have to do it for the rest of my life.
Hopefully I will find an area of law I enjoy. If not, I know where I’ll be headed. Passion keeps you going even when everything else is dead. And I sincerely believe that one must live for oneself and not for the sake of others. If you derive satisfaction from serving others and making others happy, that’s fantastic. But I’m a selfish person. That doesn’t satisfy me.
That doesn’t mean I’ll give up the law degree!
I’m practically halfway through it already.
And besides it’s way too late for me to start on a degree relevant to my hobbies; in more ways than one.
I feel rather settled now. I know where I’m headed. It may turn out to be a field in law; it may not. I know what I want. Sounds contradictory? It makes perfect sense in my head.
Like Trump says, stop waiting for the perfect time. Jump right in. Do everything you can to make your dream a reality. Get involved at the earliest stage possible. Passion will move you when nothing else can!
Putting aside the fact that I have next to zero passion for law (interest and passion are simply not the same), I’m going to finish this degree. And I’m gonna do it just because I can. Like Jo always says, HWAITING! Bring on the stress balls!!